“The Emaciated Christian” 2011

 

“The Emaciated Christian” 2011

                                  

                                                      By: Diane Rose Road

PART ONE:

If you’re very best friend in life was the most famous chef in the entire world, but you were personally struggling with anorexia, and rarely ate at all, would that friendship in any way be of personal benefit to your health? No, it would not.

What if you lived on the streets of a famously elegant city which was filled to overflowing with museums, culture, and art, and with a “Triple A” rated restaurant on every corner, but you were personally homeless, and were never even able to partake of the overflow of the abundance in this land because there were locks on the dumpsters, and guards hidden in the shadows to shoo away any of your kind?

Would you be benefited in any way by your geographical proximity to all of the wealth and the illustrious culinary genius of the chefs therein? Again, the answer is no. You would in truth be no more than an emaciated homeless citizen in a very wealthy land.

What then, if you were married to a man who was a tremendous provider, who looked dutifully after virtually all of your material needs?  He worked 40-plus hours every week at a high paying job, and with every waking moment not spent at his place of employment, he dutifully kept your home in perfect condition, and fully supplied, down to the last detail.  What if this man diligently labored, “on your behalf”, from the moment his feet hit the floor in the morning until his head hit the pillow at night, and never stopped for even a moment in the hours between, all the while proclaiming; “I do all of this because I love you!”

What if, you had for 30 years been trying to get this hard working man of yours to hear your pleas for just one thing from him that you would gladly trade all else for?  What if you told this man, “I need you; I don’t need you to work yourself into an early grave on my behalf, I don’t need all of these “things” you have surrounded me with, I just need you!  I need alone time, down time, TIME, with you!”

If this man, for all of his labor “on your behalf” had for those 30 years never stopped to give you the one thing you wanted, and needed most from him; would you really believe he loved you Maybe, he is just a “workaholic” you might logically conclude. Maybe he is just “keeping up with the Joneses” and doesn’t want to be seen as lacking in any material thing.  You would likely conclude that there could be countless motivations behind your husband’s actions that had nothing whatsoever to do with love for you, because after all; don’t we all give our time and attentions to those things, and those people whom we treasure the most, Don’t we?

How long do we suppose any relationship (marital or otherwise) would last if we never invested any of ourselves into it?  If we never held, hugged, or kissed the man we dated, do we suppose that we would ever get a ring from that man (figuratively or otherwise), and an invitation to “the dance”? It’s doubtful!

If we never fed our children, would they ever grow and reach maturity; marry, and raise children of their own?  No!  Why not?  Its simple - what you do not feed dies! Depending on the circumstances, and the situation, some things die a long, slow, painful death, while others die quickly from lack of proper nurture and attention. In either case, the cause of the inevitable death is that without proper nourishment, care, time and attention, any living thing becomes emaciated, starves, and ultimately dies.

Webster’ Online Dictionary defines the word Emaciated as follows:

1. Very thin especially from disease or hunger or cold; "emaciated bony hands".

2. Being thin, gaunt, lean, skinny or lank

3. Being haggard or peaky.

4. Being meager.

5. Being scraggy, bony, scrawny or skeletal.

6. Being slender, slim, reedy or slight.

7. Being weak, impotent, effete, feeble or frail.

 
8. Being limp, flaccid, nerveless, spineless or flabby.

9. Being barren, dry or sterile.

10. Being hungry or starving.

 

PART TWO:

In precisely the same way that we have all learned in life that one can be “lonely in a crowd” so too, we can find ourselves in a myriad of situations in life that belie (falsely represent) the truth of a matter.

An Oxymoron is defined as conjoining contradictory terms such as: deafening silence, cruel kindness, act naturally, genuine imitation, almost exactly, silent scream, passive aggression, clearly misunderstood, definite maybe, working vacation, and EMACIATED CHRISTIAN.

Before we delve any deeper into the subject of emaciation in any of its forms, let’s pause for a moment or two to look into some of the cause and affect aspects of this discussion that lead to the ultimate starvation of any living thing.

It is not always the case that an oxymoron is necessarily the verbalized expression of two conjoined and yet contradictory terms. We can, and often do wear “masks” that are not made of plastic or rubber, but have been carefully constructed utilizing such things as “popular opinion,” “appearances,” “pop culture,” and “political correctness”.

EXAMINING OUR “MOTIVES”

                                   

There can be many reasons for how we approach any “good thing” that we set our hearts and hands to doing. “Christianity” for example, if analyzed strictly through the lens of aforementioned criteria of: “popular opinion,” appearances,” pop culture,” and “political correctness,” demands that if I want to be seen as, or believed to be a “Christian,” then I will have to be very shrewd and skillful in how I do this “Christianity Thing” in order not to offend, and yet still manage to fit in with this new crowd and culture.

At times, without even really analyzing these thought processes long enough to recognize the hypocrisy, and even deceit in them, some opt to “put on airs” for anyone looking;  rather than submitting themselves to the “surgeons scalpel” so to speak.  They decide instead to put into place a series of “external evidences” of the more standardized version of Christianity.  The following then is just a small sampling of the thought process behind the ways this might play out day by day. 

I will first go out (one might decide), and get a Bible (“whether I ever read it or not is irrelevant”), I can mark it up to give it that “lived in” look, I will pick up some cross jewelry, a bumper sticker for my car (that doesn’t get too “preachy”), I will at a minimum put in an appearance at the local church of my choice on a semi-regular basis, (so long as that church doesn’t require me to walk the talk), I will join in on some of the “reindeer games” of the typical Christian, such as joining a Sunday school class,  singing in the choir, attending all of the socials etc., and I will whisper Amen , Praise God, even Halleluiah at all of the appropriate times (meaning only when in the company of other Christians).

 Because, after all, even Jesus Himself was known to keep company with all sorts of nefarious locals such as tax collectors, “publicans” and sinners like Mary Magdalene; I see no harm in spending some occasional time at the local pub with friends who are no worse than these.  Also, Jesus’ first recorded miracle was to turn water into wine, so clearly there is nothing wrong with taking a little nip every now and again!

Furthermore, the very Bible that those “Ultra Conservative Bible Thumpers” use to call me out on my “lifestyle choices” says somewhere that I have liberty in Christ, and have no need that anyone should tell me anything. And PS, what is this whole “Context” thing anyway, could somebody please just speak plain English!?

When I need more information on a situation (strictly so that I know how to more effectively pray) I am not engaging in, or in any way encouraging “Gossip” Common!

Okay, so I will admit that I maybe do spend a little more time each day “unwinding” from all of the stress in my life, than I do praying, or reading the Bible and stuff like that, but there is a good reason for that!  I am what you call “a doer of the word” and not a “hearer only!”  After all, I have already graduated from going to Sunday school classes to teaching them.  I now not only sing in the choir, I am the Worship Leader for cryin out loud! My phone rings, and the texts come in non-stop in my every waking moment, (and even when I am sleeping), I go to a prayer meeting once a week, donate to the needy, and my life in general is full to overflowing with all of the activities and “requirements” that all of this places on me”.  There are only so many hours in the day, you know, what more could God expect of me; I am “serving Him” now in one way or another for more hours a week than I work my full time job!

How dare anyone hang some kind of label on me like “Emaciated Christian, Can’t you see it?  I have nothing left to give!  I am all used up! 

I did not wake up this morning and decide that today felt like a really great day to stomp on the heads and hearts of as many people as I could reach with this article. 

In fact, if you have not already figured it out, the argumentative woman with the all consuming “issues” whose quotes you have been reading has a name, and it is not coincidentally the same as my own.

While not every one of the situations, analogies, and even choices used as illustrations are of my personal story, I did in fact look and at last finally “see” the face and form of an utterly “Emaciated Christian” staring back at me while on that particular day, as on so many which had proceeded it, I was rushing past the mirror.

I had become unnecessarily bloodied beyond recognition by my own choices, decisions, missteps, and assumptions, all the while having completely side stepped the “main thing!”  We have all heard it wisely advised that we remember to “keep the main thing, THE MAIN THING!”

If you have ever done so at all, then reach back please into the very recesses of your minds, and retrieve the moment in your own personal history, that first brought you to your knees at the foot of the cross.  What was that condition of your own heart which so longed for the answers found that day at the feet of Jesus?

Wasn’t it the realization that you were ultimately and infinitely LOST in your own sins, apart from the price Jesus had already personally paid at Calvary in taking your sins upon Himself and paying for them there  IN FULL?  Did you hear on that day of His dying declaration that; “it is FINISHED!?” 

I did!  I both heard, and believed, and yet somehow, remarkably when I rose to my feet, without realizing it, I had picked all of my now completely “forgiven sins” back up and carried them home with me that day, even if only in my mind.

The Bible clearly tells us (in Ephesians 2:8-9) that we have been saved by grace through faith; and that not of ourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works... and yet most of us still manage to walk away from the foot of the cross still believing that surely there are things that we must DO to somehow “seal the deal”. 

Our fellow man helps us out immensely with this theory by “piling on” all of the manmade rules and regulations that make up “religion” today. God made it so simple; we have made it so very complex.

The very moment we rise to our feet, and walk away from the foot of the cross, from the presence of our Savior, we at once begin to hear, heed, and obey other voices. These voices are many, and they therefore come in many forms.  They come with the voice of “rules,” “regulations,” expectations,” “standards,” “religion,” and “the opinions of man,” just to name a few. Some of these voices are infinitely familiar to us. We know and recognize them at once, but none of these voices are in any way at all like the One we heard while at the foot of the cross.

It isn’t long (sometimes we don’t even make it all the way home) before we begin to wonder “was I ever really “saved”, or “born again” at all?”  “Who do you think you are kidding anyway!” the voices demand to know.  “Everyone knows who and what you really are, and all of the terrible things that you have done!”  They continue.  “As soon as those “Christians” learn what we all already know about you, they will “drop you like a hot potato!”  “Why set yourself up for all of the shame and humiliation of being “found out!?” Does any of this sound familiar?  Of course it does.  It’s the voice of condemnation.  We all know and recognize that voice very well indeed. 

Would you like to know “The Secret” to overcoming every lying, hissing, chirping, clucking, accusatory voice that has ever, or will ever again try to whisper in your ear from this moment forward, until the end of time?

The “Secret” though hidden in plain site is in knowing, and finally accepting, that if we could have done anything at all in the sum of all of our life’s works to be saved, then we would not have so desperately needed Jesus in the first place, and we can be sure that He would not have gone to that gruesome cross if there had been any other way to bring us into right standing with the Father.

All that the sum of our efforts have ever, or will ever manage to do, is to suck the very life out of us, spit us out, and walk away leaving us emaciated, battered, broken, bloodied and emptied out on the pavement. Saved?  Maybe -- but not so that anyone would notice.

Please look with me if you will at John 10:10 where in one simple statement of fact, Jesus manages to unpack and “unclutter” all that we have managed to make so very complicated.  In it we are told with a simple declarative statement that: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”; “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  In case you somehow missed it, I will repeat: Jesus has boldly declared to us all “I have come that you might have LIFE and that more abundantly!”  

“How?” you might logically ask.  Please continue with me into the next article in this series called “Have you met my Jesus?” In it, we will pick up where we left off in the discussion of the “voices and opinions” which we have chosen (whether knowingly or not) to listen to, and have then patterned our lives after.  Question: How has that been working so far?

“OUCH!!!” copyright 2011

“OUCH!!!” copyright 2011

                                  

                                                      By: Diane Rose Road

DISCLAIMOR: While the following series was not written as a critique of any individual(s), nor has it been written with any specific person or people in mind; still the subject matter found herein can assuredly not be considered widely “palatable” for the masses.

I believe that it will take a person with no small supply of internal maturity, regardless of age, who possesses a strong love of the truth; and by extension; who at a minimum, has a healthy respect for, (if not appreciation of) truth tellers wherever they may be found. Any reader who actually possesses a hunger for truth will inevitably be that one who is able to glean the most from all that follows.

I think it should be clearly established at the outset, that I have personally learned most, if not all of what is about to be discussed, the hard way.  I genuinely believe that there are those who are far wiser than I who not only can, but will learn by the mistakes of others (my own included) how to avoid many of the pitfalls of life that I, and others like me managed to trip over. It is to that desired end, that I am publishing this work.

As a piece of personal insight into what could possibly motivate anyone to write a series of articles such as these, I would like to offer up the following in the hope that it will somehow act as a sort of buffer to anything seen to be critical and unkind in its direct approach to difficult subject matter.

In the unfolding of the hours, days, weeks, months, years, and events that made up my childhood, I learned in no uncertain terms, through her words and deeds that I was somehow something less than what my mother had hoped for. Even more than this I came to believe myself to be the very embodiment of her personal “disappointment” at the inability to give birth to her own personal hopes and dreams.  

I came to believe that I was the very personification of that failure, and by extension that I was as a human being, a failure.  I could do virtually nothing to her satisfaction.  To my mother, I had virtually no true or accurate thought.  I never at any time was the recipient of any words of affirmation, love, or kindness from her, and so I came to believe that I was someone that “not even a mother could love”.

I therefore made it my purpose in life, in at least the entirety of my first eighteen years (and to a lessening degree in the years that followed) to earn my mothers love.  If I could accomplish just this one thing, then I could earn the right to breathe the same air she breathed.  I could then, at last without shame come into her presence and just be me; and that would finally be considered a good thing. 

In time, a lot of it, I did eventually figure out that what I had done was to set myself up to be nothing more or less than the sum of the opinions of my mother, and by extension those of all of the other (somehow less flawed) people that I encountered in everyday life.  I came to believe that if I could somehow reach perfection, then I deserved (had earned) the right to be.

The “right” to simply “be” was in my mind based entirely upon the opinions of others. The most glaringly obvious problem with a life goal such as mine was that there are as many opinions as to what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, as there are people.  Only compounding this problematic life philosophy is the fact that no one ever says “This is what I believe, but I could be wrong!” Of course not!  What they say instead (even if without words) is: “This is what I believe and therefore, based upon nothing more than that I believe it… Certainly it must be true; I wouldn’t believe it otherwise!”  I had in effect unwittingly subscribed to a sort of “new math” that looks like this: If mom always = Correctness and Accuracy, Beauty, and Goodness, and all things Witty and Wise, then; Mom’s Opinions and Assertions = Truth - Always!

Please consider all of this to be the foundation from which I proceed into this series of publications. Please know too, that all future works born out of this series do not attempt to judge or condemn; nor do I stand in judgment over anyone for their own personal life mistakes that were, like mine, based upon faulty beliefs.  I speak as one who has walked out over the past 52 years of my life, the results of making a “false truth”, my plum line and guide.

We are in life, I have come to believe; the compiled sum of many factors.  Some of these are genetic, and some are learned; some things are without question inflicted upon us, while others are (often without our knowing it) simply the compiled consequences of the choices that we personally make whether for the good, or to our ultimate hardship and harm.

  

A few Basic Questions:

What motivates you?

What is that inner thing that drives you on?

What are your core beliefs about yourself?

How did you come by these beliefs?

And;

How do these “Truths and False Truths” look as they play out in our day to day lives?

There remains one even bigger question.  Giving genuine thought and consideration to this question and then honestly answering could only prove enormously valuable to us in shining light into the dark places in our hearts, minds, and ultimately all of our lives.

The question: Would you hire yourself to run your life going forward, if that decision were based entirely and exclusively upon the sum of your personal beliefs, choices, decisions and actions thus far?

I wonder if we can even begin to get our minds wrapped around how few of us would be able to answer in the affirmative to that question.  Truth be told, it’s even worse than this. 

The reality is, that if we had been called upon to regularly dip into our own wallets, bank accounts, and life savings to pay for the services of a financial planner; life coach,  bookkeeper, accountant, personal trainer, nanny, housekeeper, chef, yard maintenance, landscaper, animal trainer, automobile repair & maintenance service, etc.; many of us would survey the consistency, reliability, and quality, (or lack of these things things) in our own body of “works” in these functions and shriek out a resounding “Your Fired!!!” to anyone who had performed so poorly as we have in their day to day actions (on our “behalf”) in all that we had put in their trust.

And now, before things begin to look up, it actually gets even worse than all of this:  If we now pause for just one moment, and take a truthful, no joke, no excuses made, hard look at reality, we actually have for all of these years regularly dipped into our own lives future and potential to pay for the ways that we either have, or have not tended to all of these things. All too often, we find ourselves severely lacking in the many details of how we have managed our own lives.

 Is it possible that somewhere along the line we have unknowingly picked up beliefs and attitudes toward ourselves, and by extension, all that is in our care; which for whatever our reasons, tell on our internal belief systems?  They say that we don’t like ourselves enough to consider our lives to be worthy of any better care and treatment than we have given them?

If we had for whatever the number of years represented by our age, been paying others to perform all of the aforementioned services on our behalf and these individuals had been found so profoundly lacking in their duties, I am unsure that we could find many sane people who would merely do a little side shuffle with their feet and mumble “Oh Shucks!  Better luck next time!” 

Most of us would feel a sense of moral outrage at having been so poorly looked after, in all of the things entrusted them on our behalf. After all, they had been very well paid for their “services”.

So then, while still being extremely honest with ourselves in this rather harsh look at reality; what do we suppose to have been our day by day thought processes in having so poorly looked after and cared for our own best interests? 

Why, for example did we marry that one, and then walk away in most cases, knowing full well that we did not give it our best effort, only to remarry a different version of the same person and find that we were once again facing the exact same set of hurdles, obstacles, circumstances and daily struggles that we thought we had left behind?

Why, do we suppose that we keep having to retaking the same “tests” over and over in life? On the job, why does there always seem to be that one in the crowd who is for us exactly like sandpaper on a baby’s bottom?  They seem to exist only for the sole purpose of humbling us. Who told them that it was their job in life to rub off all our unpolished edges anyway?  Anyone would suppose that they were the king of the world and not merely our boss!

For the purposes of opening up the internal dialog in our own minds, I am going to offer up the following list of possible issues to look for in our attitudes and beliefs.  This is by no means to be considered a comprehensive or all inclusive list of such things, but is to be looked at as a few of the life leaches that literally suck the power out of all efforts made on behalf of our own best interests in life.

 

 What if we begin by simply working toward gradual but consistent change in some of our longest held and most destructive mindsets? What if we isolated some of these beliefs, which have created the greatest havoc in our lives so far, and made a concerted effort at addressing them?

As we look at the lists below, in order to insure that we are being truly honest with ourselves, lets answer each question first through our own understanding, and then answer a second time based only on the sum of the opinions verbalized to us over the years. 

For example, if we would call ourselves loving, kind, patient, and infinitely accessible people, but the preponderance of public opinion in our lives thus far, has in most situations considered us harsh – hard – sharp, and pressing then we might logically decide to acknowledge that we at least “may” be struggling with being a bit self-centered and self absorbed.

This self analysis is not pleasant, not fun, and just plain not what most of us would choose to do with our day, but if we are honest with ourselves we know that it is entirely  necessary in order to see any real and lasting change for the better in our lives. 

I for one now freely confess that there is a great deal of work left to be done in me.  We are all a work in progress; that is of course, if we choose progress!

Please print the questionnaires below and circle anything that you can honestly see as a possible problem area in your life. The first set of questions will pertain to your attitudes about, and treatment of yourself and the second series of questions will address your treatment of others, and therefore your attitudes toward them in light of your opinions about yourself; whether for the good of all concerned, or to the ultimate destruction of even your own best interests in the tearing down of your relationships with others.

Question - Are you kind to, and consistently attentive to your own life sustaining needs, as well as to those day to day actions that make for a better, more fruitful, and more fulfilled life?

 

Are you:

Unhealthy?  Overweight? A Smoker? A Heavy Drinker? A regular over the counter drug user? An illegal drug user?  Critical?  Self Absorbed?, Harsh?,  “Hard Headed?”, Sharp Tongued?, Pressing?, Flaky?, Unreliable?, Inconsistent?, Compulsively Late or Rushed?, Lazy?, Messy?, Apathetic?, Overly Emotional?, Stubborn?, Unbending?, Unyielding?, Emotionally Unavailable?, Easily Offended?, Pouty?,  Unforgiving?, Rude?, Loud?, Usually seeking to be the center of attention at most public events?, Insecure?, Impatient?, Unkind?, Haughty?, Self-Righteous?, Opinionated?, Puffed Up?, Judgmental?, “Always Right?”, Always seem to “Know a better way of doing things than do those around you?”

                                                                                                        

Do you:

Like yourself? Do you suffer with either occasional or regular “bouts of depression?” Routinely Exercise? Get a minimum of 7 hours sleep a night? Eat more fast-food, and processed foods percentage wise in every day than those consumed in their natural state such as fruits, vegetables, eggs, etc.? Take time to relax: Read a Book, or engage in any healthy hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy? Immediately turn on the television, stereo; log onto the computer to check your mail, catch up on all of your “social networking”, play computer games, surf the net, start calling all your family and friends, etc., so that there is never for even a moment in your life, any sign of actual stillness, calm, or peace? 

Do you endeavor at all costs to insure that there is never an unoccupied “mind moment” in which to stop and ponder the condition of your life, health, and happiness? Over promise your time and energies until there is no time left for tending to your own needs?  Rehearse and replay negative self talk in your mind? Speak negatively about yourself to others and about others? Feel the need to be in a relationship in order to feel fulfilled in life? Bounce into and out of relationships with the changing of the calendar pages? Find yourself getting angry at these questions?

  

Question - Are you kind to, and considerate of others?

Are you:

Critical?  Self Absorbed?, Harsh?, “Hard Headed?”, Sharp Tongued?, Pressing?, Flaky?, Unreliable?, Inconsistent?, Compulsively Late or Rushed?, Lazy?, Messy?, Apathetic?, Overly Emotional?, Stubborn?, Unbending?, Unyielding?, Emotionally Unavailable?, Easily Offended?, Pouty?,  Unforgiving?, Rude?, Loud?, Usually seeking to be the center of attention at most public events?, Insecure?, Impatient?, Unkind?, Haughty?, Self-Righteous?, Opinionated?, A Gossip? Puffed Up? Judgmental? “Always Right?” Always seem to “Know a better way of doing things?” Thinking at this very moment about how many of these attributes apply to others in your life besides yourself?

Do you:

Show up to work late and leave early?, Speed?, Tailgate?, Regularly cut others off in traffic because you are talking on your cell phone, texting, adjusting your music, or just not paying attention to what you are doing?, Disregard the Law?, Demonstrate “Road Rage?” Often seem to elicit “Road Rage” in others?, Talk over people in conversations and just keep going even when they try to jump in?, Ignore when others speak, or change the subject when they do speak to one that interests or centers on you?, e.g., Someone tells you that they have a terrible headache, and your response is,” I have had a migraine for over a week now”, Dominate most conversations?, Regularly forget and/or lack follow through on commitments made?, Overlook, or Disregard important dates such as Birthdays, Anniversary’s and other important events throughout the year?, Hold Grudges?, Routinely break promises?, Routinely “Remember Promises Differently” than others remember them?, Make Excuses for Yourself?

“Turn out that light!”

For those of us who have lived our lives in a sort of dark and hidden away place in our own minds; having withdrawn ourselves at least emotionally from the society, or more specifically from those in it who we feel have inflicted pain on us; none of what we have discussed can have been easy to look at in ourselves. 

 

Having in one way or another come to believe that we are the only ones who at the end of the day, really care about our personal hopes, fears, and dreams; many of us simply “opt out” of even the concept of trusting anyone else to genuinely care about us. Why on earth then, we ask ourselves, would we ever intentionally allow anyone close enough to see our weaknesses and flaws, let alone invite them to assist us in overcoming them? In our minds, the exposure of our flaws and frailties leaves us open to the danger of being hurt again.  We have come to find solace in the dark and hidden away places that we have constructed for ourselves.

In much the same way that our eyes become adjusted to the darkness in our rooms when we sleep, we have become adjusted over the years to be more comfortable alone in this darkness than when we feel somehow exposed by the light.  If someone were to thoughtlessly enter our room in the middle of the night without warning, and very definitely without invitation; what would be our immediate reaction?  Well, if it were merely a thoughtless family member who entered the room to retrieve something they needed, our immediate reaction would likely be to cover our now watering eyes, and shout at them to “turn out that light!” 

What then if turning the light on in our minds and our belief systems is for us now the equivalent of going back into those dark and hidden away places that we have created and finding that part of ourselves that has given up hope?  What if we decided to entertain the idea that light does not have to equal exposure, pain, and danger?  What if we were to shift our personal paradigms to include the possibility that in the same way that food, water, and sunlight are essential to the growth of any blooming or flowering thing; likewise all of these elements are essential to cultivating our own lives and the fruitful gardens in our future?

Who Determines A Man’s Value? Copyright 2011

Is the worth of a man (or of a woman) determined by the market value of each of his individual
parts? Do we assess the cost needed to replicate his intellect, and the market value of any of his
limbs if they were removed and sold?
If we could estimate the worth of his daily productivity using some enigmatic formula and then
add to it some arbitrary value for his “eye appeal” and personality, would we then be able to
assign to that man his exact value, or even worse grant only to those with high level skills and
marketability the freedom to occupy his or her place in the world and, the permission to breath its
air without assault or condemnation?
Lest we begin to balk and stir at such concepts as these; let’s look for a moment at some ugly
reflections of ourselves (as a society) in the mirror shall we?
Do we not begin to reflect upon others some very subtle messages from the very moment of their
birth? What about the baby who is born with the biggest, roundest, brightest of eyes, that are
framed with long thick eyelashes, an adorable little upturned nose, dimples and laughter to melt
the coldest heart? Do we not at once label that child “A Gerber Baby” “A little doll”; or some
other equally complimentary and charming name as these?
What of the baby born with close set and squinty eyes? Whose features are pinched and red and
who only purses her lips and cries at her birth? Or the one whose only “crime” is not being born a
boy to the parents who wanted their first to be the boy who would then become big brother to the
rest of the siblings who followed and who, if he she had been born a boy, would have proudly
born the name of the father, (Dad –The sequel).
That child all too often then gets subjected to the lifelong stories told to anyone who will listen
that he or she was born looking like he came two months too late: over cooked and with a head
bald down the middle like something you would land a plain on.
As everyone laughs at that child’s expense, even in his very earliest years in his mind, his value
has already been predetermined. And so, as time goes on and he stumbles and falls a bit as
babies will do when learning to walk and play; he hears terms of “endearment” and “no offence
intended” remarks like “that child is sure to become an archeologist some day; his face is always
in the dirt!”
As life rushes unmercifully on with a daily and unrelenting litany of such “harmless” remarks,
one day that child shows up with purple pointed hair and holes in his ears the size of quarters
through which you can hear the whistling of the wind. He listens to music that happily deafens
those in the next county who are made glad at least for the peace.
He has become a tyrant in the home, and a menace to his society, and we just raise our hands in
wonder and declare, “I don’t know what happened to that boy, he has always been such a mess!”
Seriously! Are we kidding!? We have very literally created a monster, and we shake our heads at
that child – now grown into a man as we collectively watch him on the 6 o’clock news.
The Bible tells us that what we sow, we will reap. What if we were to make it our mission in life
to have only good things to say to (and about) others? What if our words were used exclusively
to build up, and not to tear down? I sincerely believe that we would have far fewer people pulling
inward into their own impenetrable cocoons. Those who after many years of compressing and
pushing down all of their hurts and pains end up committing suicide and even at times homicide,
Or, who merely get lost amongst the homeless numbers we hurry past every day without ever for
a moment daring to look them directly in the eye.
I believe that if we were to use our words more carefully and began to think more before we
speak, we would soon have far more happy, fruitful and productive members of society, fully
investing themselves and their efforts into building up those who with their words breathed life
into them. “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its
fruit!” Proverbs 18:21
I am not intending with this article to assign blame for all of the ills of our society today, nor have
I addressed in all of this; the concept of taking personal responsibility for our own lives and
choices. That’s a discussion for another day, and over the months and the miles ahead, I am sure
we will get there together.
For this moment in time, and this meal alone, please allow me to serve up what has been cooking
on the stove all day in my kitchen (while I still have one) and as the gracious host that I believe
myself to be. If it doesn’t fit your tastes, or is too hot to your tongue, then I can serve you up a
cold ham sandwich instead.